A Love That Chose Quiet Over Fame: The Lasting Story of Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates

A Love That Chose Quiet Over Fame: The Lasting Story of Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates

While he continued to win awards in films like A Fish Called Wanda, she opened a small boutique called Blue Tree on Madison Avenue.

This simple contrast tells you everything you need to know about Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates. While most stars are busy signing divorce papers or chasing the next big blockbuster, this pair is busy living a quiet, happy life on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.

They have been married for over 37 years, a feat that is practically unheard of in the glitzy world of show business.

The story began back in 1982. Both were at an audition for the movie The Big Chill. Kevin was already an established actor, and Phoebe was the rising star everyone recognized from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Surprisingly, she didn’t get the part, but she certainly got Kevin’s attention. It wasn’t an instant romance, though. They were both dating other people at the time, and it took another couple of years before they actually went on a date.

One of the most famous stories about their early days involves their very first meeting. Kevin was so struck by Phoebe that he actually hired her former assistant just so he could get more information about her. He wanted to know what she was like behind the scenes before he made his move.

He once recalled the situation with a laugh, saying, “I was actually hiring her assistant and I spent the whole interview asking questions about Phoebe!” It was a sneaky but effective way to bridge the gap between two people who moved in very different social circles.

Kevin Kline often jokes about their first meeting and the age gap between them—he is 16 years older than her. He once looked back on those early days and said,

“I was 40-ish when I finally stopped obsessing about acting and actually got married.”

He admitted that meeting Phoebe was a happy twist of fate that changed his entire perspective on life. When they finally did tie the knot in 1989, it wasn’t a massive televised event. They chose a low-key, private ceremony in New York, setting the tone for the rest of their lives together.

Another charming anecdote from their long marriage happened during a red-carpet event early in their relationship. While other actors were trying to look perfect for the cameras, Kevin and Phoebe were caught in a private moment of silliness. Kevin was seen adjusting Phoebe’s hair and whispering a joke that made her double over with laughter right in front of the photographers. When asked what he said, he simply replied, “I told her she had a piece of spinach in her teeth just to see her face drop.”

So, how do they make it work? Kevin is very clear about why they are still going strong while other famous couples fall apart. He recently shared his secret with a smile:

“If your marriage lasts more than six months, you’re already in the Guinness Book of World Records, if you’re a Hollywood marriage.”

He insists that the reason they have survived is that they simply don’t have a “Hollywood marriage.” They chose to live thousands of miles away from the chaos of Los Angeles, preferring the sidewalks of New York City over the red carpets of California.

Phoebe Cates made a choice that shocked many fans in the mid-1990s. At the height of her fame, she walked away from acting to raise their two children, Owen and Greta.

She didn’t want the spotlight; she wanted a home. Kevin has always praised her for being the grounded one in the relationship. He once noted, “She’s got her head on her shoulders, unlike me. I usually have my head on her shoulders, too.”

They lived like normal people, walking their kids to school and avoiding the paparazzi. This “non-celebrity” lifestyle is what they credit for their happiness. Even today, they laugh about the pressures of aging in the public eye. Kevin famously quipped,

“That’s why you’ll see no Botox on me. These are my lips, what’s left of them.”

True success isn’t found in fame or career milestones, but in the person you choose to walk through life with. By prioritizing family over fame and choosing a quiet life over a flashy one, Kevin and Phoebe proved that love can last if you keep it away from the noise.

>We Are Human Angels<

Authors

Awakening the Human Spirit

We are the authors of ‘We Are Human Angels,’ the book that has spread a new vision of the human experience and has been spontaneously translated into 14 languages by readers.